words from a man on extreme pain medication
so, a few months ago my dad was in the hospital for surgery. they kept him for several days and had him on some pretty heavy pain medication. for some reason, the medication had a weird effect on him and he started talking all crazy. i advised my mom to either record it or start writing it down. these are her notes. keep in mind that most of these comments are completely unprovoked and came out of nowhere.
i was king for the day!
where was i put in the domain?
there’s a real transition. it takes 2 for this thing. (pointing to his oxygen tube)
is that reeling out, or is it reeling in?
[looking at his bathroom wall, holding his hands apart] is that this wide? is it 6 inches? or is it 3 & 7/8? We’ll look and see.
where does that go down? [pointing to the bathroom]
do you think the hospital owns this house?
[pointing to the ceiling] if they wanted to, they could do a lot, just put a plywood floor across there.
are they just taking one box from each person? they’re not using them to store in.
(cough) it must be the dust from packing in all these rooms.
what are we waiting around for? we don’t have to be here. (mom: this is your hospital room) NO IT’S NOT!
in other words, we can do this wall using X, Y & Z company or we can do that wall using X, Y & Z company, but we can’t mix it all up.
[a lady was vacuuming in the hall] HALT! [with his hand across his neck] why don’t we slow down? get down to a —- [lowering his hands down to the floor]
we need a wagon and wheels. you’re on the committee to put these things together.
[that was the first of many comments about build wagons and wagon related components.]
you gotta keep making wagons and sell cars. get charles rowe co. going over there. [charles rowe is a local newsman]
did you ever get the company that’s going to make wheels and wagons?
ok, you round up the trucks. the clintons do the trucks over on 8th ave everyday. they do it by electricity. keep making your buckets and putting the trucks together. how many trucks do you have done? 1-800-826-8521. [i called the number and it is for the chevron phillips chemical company. maybe they were his fuel supplier for the project.]
i think we gotta make at least two buggys. 8 axels. don’t just look there and shake and despite…
don’t you need a fireplace in the fire? warm enough? ok, get another row of buggys. [dad’s quite the task master]
start building the enlarged prostate. DAMN! men only! can’t have it for everybody!
[one time he grabbed the pen and paper that my mom was using to take notes on and drew the following]
do you have any idea how many of these we have? you gotta know because we have to move things with them.did they find there’s too many of each thing? lisa [my sister], we’re making too many of these things!
i told you to make fountain pens. we don’t want fountain pens do we?
we gotta stop trying glues. we gotta end up with just tapes.
i’m going to start putting up building where they have things to sell.
did you ever find somebody to build wheels and a wagon barn? [what is it with the wagons?]
quit making things cause we have a boat that will go across a river.
so, as you can see, the medication really did a number on him. at least it was captured for posterity. and our amusement.
in case you were wondering, he has absolutely no recollection of any of this stuff. and he never did get any of the wagons finished. or started.
This is hysterical! You can’t make this stuff up. Maybe you should put it to music.
This reminds of the thing you did for the Bendies where you documented Jana’s ramblings at night. Classic.
“and she talks in her sleep”. yeah, i loved that. maybe i should repost that up here. i wish she would still do it, but apparently something has changed in her life so that she feels like she no longer needs to talk in her sleep. bummer.