raising heller

so, i was inspired by a friend of mine that wrote a blog post about a bunch of things that her friends might not know about her. i started thinking, ‘what might people not know about me?’ i realize that the notion to make public these things might seem a little narcissistic, but i think i’m doing this as much for the purpose of self-discovery than anything else. some of you may be all too aware of some of these things as i’ve been told that i’m a bit of an open-book, then again some of it might be news to you. if you find this a bit much, feel free to skip this one and wait for some more pictures of our kids. so, here we go.

• i desperately wanted to be a rock star for the longest time.
• i gave up on the dream when i moved to california and played in a few bands. reality is a tough pill to swallow.
• i still want to record an album with my wife.
• we own 2 dogs. a chihuahua and a chihuahua/jack russell terrier mix.
• i bought them for my wife because i was afraid to have kids and thought this might buy me some time. thankfully, it didn’t buy me much.
• as a young boy, i once ran face first into a cactus. since my mom wasn’t home at the time, i sat in tears on the porch for several hours with a face full of cactus quills waiting for her. when she got home it took the rest of the evening for her and my sister lani to remove them all. i’m sure it’s odd to see a child crying long after he’s run out of actual tears. most people would assume that he’s faking. until they saw the quills.
• i’ve never broken a bone (i don’t count fingers or toes. i broke my thumb, and i suspect that i’ve broken a couple of toes, though i have no definitive proof).
• musical guilty pleasures: first album britney spears, andrew w.k. (though i’ll admit i feel no guilt for that one), select ashlee simpson tunes, dr. dre’s chronic 2001 (i have the edited version because i’m not that hard core). there are many, many more but i’ll leave you with these few.
• i was born in san diego, ca. while moving to spokane, wa at the age of 10 would be considered a raw deal by most, it was one of the best moves of my life.
• though i would say i’m mostly conservative, i definitely wouldn’t call myself a republican (i don’t think i’ve ever written that before. it feels like coming out of the political closet). i’m definitely not a democrat and must say that i pretty much despise both political parties.
• i would vote for ron paul. in fact, i’m going to write his name in on the ballot.
• about 2 years ago, i switched to a mac and can’t imagine switching back. the imac and iphone have literally changed my life.
• (the friend that gave me the idea to write this, said this same thing so i know she’s going to think i ripped her off, but i swear i’ve always had the opinion that…) i completely disagree with the advice of never going to bed angry with your spouse. when you’re arguing, go to bed. nothing’s ever as important in the morning. unless you’re arguing about why they ate the last of the cinnamon toast crunch. then you’re likely to be even more upset when you wake up.
• i LOVE cinnamon toast crunch. one time when it was on sale, i bought 15+ boxes. they didn’t last as long as they should have.
• i am over-weight (i blame the cinnamon toast crunch, but we just can’t stay away from each other). though, this morning i hopped on the scale and found that i’ve lost 10 pounds. people have been asking me lately if i’ve lost weight and i was pretty sure that they were just trying to be nice. apparently, they were on to something.
• i owned my own business for about 2 years. it was the best education i’ve ever had.
• i’m not a college graduate (thankfully jana is). i am, however, a police academy graduate. that’s got to count for something, right? i’m not a police officer, however.
• i’m a fan of parenthetical writing (there’s something so expressive about it).
• i have had my hair several different colors. purple, fire engine red, green, black, orange, white (yes, white is possible. but odds are your scalp is going to bleed after you’ve bleached your hair for the 3rd time in 2 hours. at least mine will), and a few more colors, but this is all i can remember right now.
• I can write a sentence properly, including normal capitalization. When I’m at work I’m forced to. but if i’m writing anything to a friend, or just something a little more casual, i prefer to ignore capitalization. i don’t feel like any letter deserves to be more important just because it’s at the beginning of a sentence or because “education” tells us it should be.
• i hate football.
• i LOVE tennis, though i don’t really play anymore or follow any of the pros.
• i’m secretly jealous of people who are overly talented at completely useless skills.
• whenever i type the word “skills”, i always want to spell it with a ‘z’, like “skillz”. not because i don’t know how to spell it, but because that’s just how i roll.
• as long as jana and i have been married, we’ve had nachos every sunday after church. i know we’ve missed some days, but i would definitely say we’re 3 out of 4. i’m still not sick of nachos.
• if you want to make a perfect plate of nachos, microwave it for 52 seconds at a power of 7. it’s taken me, literally, hundreds of plates of nachos to come to that conclusion.
• it’s been a long time since i’ve seen them, but i’m not sure if anyone will ever make a funnier movie than fletch or fletch lives.
• i am currently on my 3rd vespa. this one’s my favorite. my first was totaled by a friend of mine (that one was actually featured in a vespa commercial. not that model, but the actual scooter. ask if you’re curious), and the 2nd one i sold. i won’t make that mistake again.
• i built an aluminum guitar. it sounds AWESOME. and if the light is angled just right, i can blind you.
• i’ve always wanted to be on an episode of jeopardy, but have a sneaking suspicion that i wouldn’t do nearly as good as i do at home. i’m pretty freakin’ good at home.
• as a child, i always wanted to have an imaginary friend so i tried making a few up, but i could never immerse myself into it enough to actually believe that they were real. i always knew that i was an impostor.
• i once sold italian sodas out of my locker in high school for extra cash. it only lasted one day as a girl got sick because the cream that i was using went bad. she asked for her money back, but i was a firm believer in the “buyer beware” philosophy.
• i took piano lessons for about 6 months but only did about 1 months’ worth of practicing. this is why i suck at the piano, and why my parents wouldn’t let me play the violin a few years later. they were wise enough to know that i wouldn’t stick with it, and yet…
• i’ve played the guitar for about 14 years. i bought my first guitar after i went to my first concert. i saw nirvana play in spokane and decided that i HAD to get a guitar (see first entry at top).
• i’ve never had any desire to get a tattoo or pierce any part of my body.
• i’ve always wanted to be really good at photography. i have a pretty decent camera, but now realize that there’s a little more to it than that.
• my first kiss was really bad. afterward, the girl said, “we’ll have to practice that”. in my mind, all i heard was, “we’re going to be doing that again” when what she was politely trying to say was, “you really suck at kissing”. i’d like to think i’ve gotten better. there’s a whole lot of ladies you can ask. HEY-O!
• my wife probably won’t approve of the above comment at the end. but she needs to know that she’s the only lady in my life.
• there was a period of several years where i only wore dickies pants. and in fact it was only in the last couple of years that i decided to try wearing jeans again. turns out, i really like jeans. in fact, i don’t even own a single pair of dickies any more.
• i used to own almost every color of dickies that they make. kakhi, black, brown, dark blue, light blue, gray, red, orange, yellow, white, green… i’m sure there were others but that’s all i can think of right now.
• i really think when my kids get a bit older, we’re going to form some sort of partridge family/hanson type band. lily will sing and play keys, jackson will play drums and asher will play guitar.
• i LOVE the moments when somebody says something that causes you to laugh uncontrolably in awkward situations. case in point: several years ago, i was at church and asked a friend of mine if he had some chapstick. he pulled some out (it was called “the herbal answer“) and said, “i’ve got the herbal answer”, to which i replied, “well that’s great, because i’ve got the herbal question”. this sparked a few minutes of laughter in the middle of a fairly reverant sunday school class. me and that friend still talk about it occasionally.
• i can type about 50 words per minute. i don’t know if that’s any good or not. i’ve never taken a typing class and wonder how much faster i could type if i were properly trained.
• i’m jealous of my children. not that they have it any better than i did, but because they’re still impressed by the simplest of things.

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