raising heller

so, it’s 2am and i just finished watching the karate kid. i’ll admit, it’s one of my all-time favorite movies. i’ve got a lot of childhood memories wrapped up in that movie. it taught me a lot of things. it taught me to strike fast, strike hard with no mercy (sir). it taught me that fear does not exist in the dojo (nor does pain, defeat and one other thing that i can’t remember). but above all, it taught me that a little kid from jersey with a can-do attitude and a propensity for washing and waxing cars as well as some other basic home maintenance, can beat any member of the cobra kai with a little hard work, determination and help from an old asian man (whom identifies himself from the country of okinawa. there’s some trivia for you). so, yeah, i think it’s safe to say that the karate kid has influenced my life for the positive. though i’m sure the trail of broken bodies that i’ve left in my wake would disagree. it’s been many moons since i last watched karate kid and my skills have gotten quite rusty so when the chance came to watch it tonight, i knew i had to make the time. the movie was just as awesome as i remember. though i must have been watching some sort of alternate, unreleased version because the dialogue in this new version seemed a lot cheesier than the original. no matter, the movie still rocked my world. it wasn’t until the last scene, the final match between johnny and daniel-san in the all-valley karate championship, came that a question was raised to which i still have no answer. now, i’ll admit to you right now that i participate more in the no-rules, winner take all, street karate seen in such movie as bloodsport and lionheart and as such, am unaware of the rules of many of the organized karate tournaments similar to the one seen in the karate kid. so if anyone out there is versed in the subject, i implore your help. as i’m sure you recall, the first to get to 3 points is the winner of the match. daniel laruso, or as the cobra kai call him, ‘our little friend danielle’ (you see, danielle is the female pronunciation of daniel. they were essentially trying to emasculate daniel. quite sharp.) gains the first two points right off the bat in the final match against “put-him-in-a-body-bag” johnny. right away we think that daniel is going to win the tournament. not so. “cream puff” johnny has a few tricks up his ghi and takes the next two points. in one of the finals rounds, he punches daniel in the side of the face/neck but is not awarded a point due to “illegal contact to the head”. fair enough. in my world there are no “points”, just the sweet sting of blood in your eye, but in the world of organized martial arts i can see why they wouldn’t award him a point for such reckless behavior. the score is now 2-2. the next point takes the match. daniel slowly raises both of his arms and lifts one leg off the ground. both the referee and johnny look slightly confused. what form of martial arts is this? that’s right, it’s the crane technique. we already know where this is headed. the referee starts the round. johnny rushes in only to meet daniel’s foot with his face in the center of the ring. johnny comes crashing to the ground, writhing in pain as we see ali (with an “i”) rush in to congratulate daniel along with the hundreds of other people in the audience (who knew that karate was so popular in southern california?). daniel (with an “l”) is awarded the last point and is given the trophy by a congratulatory johnny lawrence. the end. or is it?

this is where i realized (at 1:45 in the morning) that we run into a bit of a problem. if johnny was not awarded a point with his punch to daniel’s neckface, why does daniel get the final point for performing essentially the same move? granted, it was a kick instead of a punch, but i hardly think the judges would make a distinction. besides, the whole thing happened so fast that if it weren’t for the faint smirk on mr. miyagi’s face, we wouldn’t have know that it even happened. so, please, someone help me understand. after all of these years, my world is crumbling around me. was daniel laruso awarded the trophy in error? is it too late for a re-match? now, before you call me a heritic, i should explain that it’s not that i want johnny to win. in fact, just the opposite is true. i want daniel to win. he has to win. there’s no way that elisabeth shue would go out with a loser. i just don’t want him to win like this. i want it to be a win well-earned, not one tainted with the sour stink of controversy. if anybody has an answer to my dilemma, please help.

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