raising heller

a long time ago, a few friends and myself put together a site called “the bendies”. it was basically a blog all about music, culture and our seperate musings. it was pretty cool but, as with most things cool, eventually went the way of the sabre-toothed tiger. none of us really had the commitment to keep it going full-time. too bad too, because there was some really good content there. one of the sections that i kept up pretty well was a little piece called “…and she talks in her sleep”. you see, when jana and i were first married she talked in her sleep a lot. many nights i would be up working at the computer in our bedroom and she would just sit up and start talking. it was crazy. after a couple of times of this i realized, i’ve got to write this down. so here you have ”…and she talks in her sleep”.

04-20-2003 1:17am
jana- these little dogs are like little sticks.
steven- what do you mean?
j- they’re just laying here like they’re little poles…on a cat walk.

07-19-2003 12:02am
j- this guy doesn’t like to be seen with anybody…
j- i mean he’s not like…
s- what do you mean?
j- i’m just talking

?
j- i just want to stay awake so i can see the people.
j- if the people at the morgue or whatever…
j- i just want everybody to not age.
s- why?
j- cause…
s- because why?
j- stop that!
j- you keep asking me the same question over and over again.
j- i know what i’m talking about.

10.21.02
j- can you let the babies out? (talking about our 2 dogs, roxy and morgan, i can only
assume)
s- what?
j- can you let the babies out?
s- why?
j- (incoherant)
j- we only have 2 dogs?
s- yeah.
j- i thought we had…
s- you thought we had what?
j- nevermind.

10.27.02 at about 5:45 in the morning
j- i thought that i was in the mob.
s- why?
j- they kept sending me notes.
s- what kind of notes?
j- i’m awake.
s- what do you mean?
j- you keep talking to me like you think i’m asleep.
(she didn’t remember any of it later that day. was she awake? you
decide.)

10.28.02 11:24pm
j-your such a good girl morgan.
 such a good girl morgan.
 coming in here…
 both of you, morgan and roxy.
 good girls.

12.11.02 12:12am
j-i looked up at the ceiling and i though that we had ballons hanging from our ceiling. but now that i think about it, we don’t have ballons hanging from our ceiling. but then you came through the door and…
s-what color were they?
j-i don’t know. are you typing?
s-no. (of course i was)
j-yes you are. and if you would have listened, it was only one balloon, not multiple balloons.

11-20-2003 12:04am
j- they don’t want their dirty stuff black though, do they?
s- what’s that?
j- i don’t know, just thinkin’. i don’t know, i don’t know.

12-18-03 12:15am
j- say bye baby birdies
j- say bye baby birdies
j- baby birdies
s- what?
j- i’m talking to the birds.
j- we’re in our room.

words