{"id":117,"date":"2005-12-31T23:11:17","date_gmt":"2006-01-01T03:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/?p=117"},"modified":"2006-09-10T18:03:43","modified_gmt":"2006-09-10T22:03:43","slug":"from-father-to-son","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/?p=117","title":{"rendered":"from father to son"},"content":{"rendered":"

a few years ago, some friends and i started a web site called the bendies<\/a>. it was going to be revolutionary. we were going to each write about whatever we wanted. there would definitely be a mucical tilt to it, but all in all, it would be a place for us to spout off whatever we were thinking. i think they’re called “blogs” now (we were really ahead of our time). well, i wrote one article about a bunch of things that i wanted my future son to learn. i thought that since the future had arrived i would re-post that article. and now that i have a little more insight into the topic, i’ll probably write another article with a new list of things that i want to teach my boy. so, without further adieu…<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

. things i want my future son to learn from me .<\/strong><\/p>\n

. skipping rocks .
\n. cracking knuckles .
\n. spitting real far .
\n. when it’s okay to spit real far .
\n. why he needs to learn to play a musical instrument .
\n. how to change a tire .
\n. how, while not critically acclaimed, UHF is still one of the best movies ever made .
\n. yet, somehow, Weird Al sucks .
\n. it may not be a popular opinion, but karaoke is an insult to music .
\n. chicks dig it if you can cook, and they dig it even more if you can clean up the mess that results .
\n. not every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man .
\n. even if you don’t feel like it, read something before you go to sleep each night. you won’t have time later .
\n. money actually does grow on trees. if you’re in the produce industry .
\n. you won’t always have a job that you love. ignore those who say that it’s not worth it .
\n. yeah, education is that important. it sucks, huh? .
\n. respect authority .
\n. question authority .
\n. always be on the lookout for the sucker punch .
\n. don’t hit girls .
\n. if a boy hits you, clock him good .
\n. i can’t help you with your math .
\n. don’t get blinded by hot chicks .
\n. learn the art of moving your food around so that it looks like you’ve eaten a lot. while i’ll probably catch you, it will come in useful later in life .
\n. learn to type correctly .
\n. learn to balance a checkbook. then teach me how .
\n. remember who you are .
\n. when in doubt, ask me .
\n. make all your decisions like i’m staring over your shoulder .
\n. if i tell you to do something, you’re eventually going to do it, so you might as well just do it right now .
\n. ignore the fact that when your mother tells me to do something, i put it off as long as possible .
\n. not all music is worth it .
\n. not many friends are worth it .
\n. no girl is worth it .
\n. you’ll wish you hadn’t .
\n. you’ll be glad you did .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

a few years ago, some friends and i started a web site called the bendies. it was going to be revolutionary. we were going to each write about whatever we wanted. there would definitely be a mucical tilt to it, but all in all, it would be a place for us to spout off whatever […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/117\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/raisingheller.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}